TOP 10 WAYS TO ANNOY HIRUMA YOUICHI
by eijiluver2.0
Summary: these are the top ten ways to annoy Hiruma Youichi. WARNING: DO THESE AT YOUR OWN RISK. do not be stupid like Monta and decide to do these things without thinking first. PLEASE!.......that is all, please enjoy these short stories.
1. intro

TOP 10 WAYS TO ANNOY HIRUMA YOUICHI (WARNING: AT YOUR OWN RISK)

TICKLE HIM

When he tells you to be somewhere at a certain time, come late or don't show up

When doing the 40-yard dash, run as slooowww as possible, while he's watching

Get a better time than him on the 40-yard dash (his time: 5.1 seconds, unless you're Sena a.k.a Eyeshield 21)

Imitate his evil grin or laugh

Take away/hide his gum (this will seriously piss him off )

Take/hide all of his weapons Stare at him (……)

Refuse to do one of his plays in a football game, and do your own (ex. If he wants to spike, take the ball and run )

Put him in a room, alone, with Agon……then just walk away.

Like I said do these at your own risk! Now I am going to write some short stories of what MIGHT happen if someone on the Deimon Devil Bats did these things to Hiruma, Please enjoy and I hope you have a good laugh! YA-HA!!


	2. tickle him!

NUMBER 1: TICKLE HIM

It was a sunny day, perfect for footbal practice.

"Agh, I AM SO TIRED!!" Monta cried, (or not) He and Sena sat on the ground to catch their breath. They had been running drills for two hours straight, and Hiruma hadn't given them a break yet.

"Oh, my legs" Sena said, his legs ached, he'd been running up and down the field all day, he was totally beat. Suddenly a huge shadow surrounded them and both teens, hesitantly looked up, sweat drops on their faces. Hiruma stood right over them, his big evil smile splayed across his face.

"What do ya think you're doing?" he asked, in a scary, low tone of voice. Monta and Sena stuttered. Hiruma gave a small chuckle, then threw his head back, then screamed at them.

"GET YOUR LAZY ASSES UP, WE HAVE TO PERFECT OUR TRAINING IF WE EVER HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN THE CHRISTMAS BOWL!!" He cried, the smile turning into a frown, he looked annoyed. Monta and Sena had been blown back on their backs, and were staring wide eyed up at the sky.

"G-gomen" they said, in unison. Hiruma looked at them, and narrowed his eyes, but then he rolled them and walked away to go watch the others. Monta was the first to stand.

"Man, that guy has issues" he said, helping Sena up. Sena, one eye closed rubbed the back of his head.

"He just wants to go to the Christmas bowl really bad, he wants us to be our best" Sena said, trying to defend his senpai. He noticed Monta was still staring at Hiruma. He cocked his head, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

"Hey Sena" Monta started, Sena looked up a little more, so he could see Monta's face fully. Monta was smiling.

"Have you ever thought...of getting revenge on Hiruma-senpai?" he asked. This made Sena cock an eyebrow. What was Monta thinking?

"Umm, no not recently" he said. Monta gave a low chuckle, "Ever wanted to start?" he asked. Sena looked over at Hiruma, then back to Monta.

"What are you thinking, Monta?" he asked, almost whispering, almost sounding worried. Monta chuckled again.

"I've always wondered...If Hiruma was...ticklish" Monta said. Sena cocked his eyebrow again, then looked back at Hiruma. Hiruma's hands were crossed over his chest, his face stoic. How could the Commander from Hell, Hiruma Youichi, the Devil himself, be ticklish?

"Umm, Monta I don't think that's gonna work" Sena said, when he turned back around. But he suddenly realized something, Monta was not where he was supposed to be. Sena looked back towards Hiruma and his eyes flew open wide. He almost screamed.

Monta was just inches from Hiruma, his hands outstretched. Hiruma still hadn't noticed him, surprisingly. Monta looked back at Sena and smiled and evil smile. Sena started to shake his head, vigorously and wave his hands, signaling "NO DON'T DO IT!"

Monta ignored him. He got closer and closer. How could Hiruma not notice him?! Unless he was just pretending not to and he was planning on turning the tables on Monta. But Monta was now just a half inch behind him, and Hiruma did not move.

"Kurita, do it again, this time put more of your shoulder into it!" Hiruma called.

"Hai!" Kurita cried. Hiruma smiled, but then frowned. His ears twitched as he something behind him. He was too late turning around. Before he knew it he was on his stomach on the ground, with the damned monkey, Monta sitting on top of him, laughing.

"Gah, you damn monkey, get off of me!" Hiruma cried, alerting the other players, who stopped their practice to watch the impossible sight. Monta crossed his arms and snickered.

"Not this time, this time it's my turn, time for a little revenge" Monta said, he uncrossed his arms and then plunged his fingers into Hiruma's sides. He had not gotten the reaction he'd hoped for...

It was waaaayyyy better!

Hiruma immeditaley jumped, his eyes clenched shut, laughter flowing from his open mouth. Everyone watched, surprised. One of their best players, Commander from Hell, Hiruma Youichi, the DEVIL HIMSELF...was extremely ticklish!

Monta kept on tickling Hiruma, until suddenly he was thrown off by some unseen force, and landed on his butt. He opened his eyes and looked up, Hiruma was towering over him, an evil glare on his face.

"Hehe" Monta laughed, nervously "just kidding".

Hiruma wasn't convinced. Out of nowhere, he pulled out a random machine gun and cocked it. Monta screamed and began running.

"YOU FUCKING MONKEY, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE, YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN I WILL KILL YOU!!" Hiruma cried, running after Monta, shooting at him non-stop. Everyone watched back and forth.

Sena stood exactly where he had the first time, shaking his head.

"I told him not to" he sighed.

(hehe the end of the first chapter! YA-HA! Hiruma's going to kill me, but I don't care! I had fun with this chapter I hope you guys enjoyed it, I mean who doesn't want to find out that the Commander from Hell, The Devil Himself, Hiruma Youichi, is ticklish?! please review and tell me if i should keep writing or not! THX SEE YA! YA-HA!)


	3. Come late or don't show up

NUMBER 2 : COME LATE OR DON'T SHOW UP

Hiruma walked into the classroom, almost silently. The others looked up and cringed when they saw the scary smile on his face. Hiruma walked over to the blackboard and stood in front of it, turning to his teammates.

"YA-HA!" He cried, banging his fist on the black board. This made everyone but Musashi jump. Monta fell from his chair, Sena backed into Kurita, who put him in a bear hug.

"Kurita, I can't breathe" Sena said. He hated it when Kurita got scared, this always happened. Finally Kurita let him go.

"G-gomen Sena-kun" he apologized. Sena rubbed his neck. Hiruma finally spoke again. He pointed to his team.

"Tomorrow at exactly 5:00 o'clock, we will all be meeting at the gym, I have a special surprise for you guys" Hiruma said, and when he said surprise, he flashed his sharp, white smile. This made Monta nervous, and cringe back.

"W-what kind of surprise?" Monta asked, he thought he was going to have heart attack when Hiruma suddenly appeared in front of him, that creepy smile still on his face.

"Well you'll just have to find out, WON'T YOU!!?" Hiruma cried out the last part, making Monta fly back and hit the wall. Hiruma laughed and put his hands on his hips. Sena looked at his demonic senpai and sighed.

"So tomorrow, 5:00 PM?" He asked, closing his eyes. Hiruma stopped laughing and looked at Sena incredulously. Sena looked back up at Hiruma when he didn't answer. That's when Hiruma started bursting out laughing again.

"5:00 PM?!" he asked, holding his sides, he couldn't stop laughing, then all of sudden he did stop, and just smiled.

"No you Fucking jackass, 5:00 AM!" he said, and started laughing evilly when everyones mouths fell to the floor, except Musashi's.

"What that's INSANE!!" Monta cried "WHO GETS UP TO WORK OUT AT 5:00 AM ON A SATURDAY!?" even though it was a rhetorical question, Musashi and Hiruma both raised their hands. Monta fell backwards again and just lay there.

"So, I'll expect to see you all there tomorrow don't be late and you'd better come" Hiruma hissed, pointing a finger at everyone, but Musashi, he was standing behind Hiruma, but then Hiruma turned himself without putting his finger down and pointed to Musashi, just to piss him off. Hiruma laughed as he then suddenly walked out of the room.

"I'm not doing it" Monta shouted as he and Sena walked home from practice. Sena looked at Monta surprised.

"Why, Hiruma'll murder you if you don't show up, actually you're pretty lucky that he didn't kill you when you tickled him" Sena mumbled that last part, so Monta couldn't hear. Monta shrugged.

"I'm sticking to my decision, I'm not going and you shouldn't either" Monta said, nodding his head, triumphantly. Sena sighed and pulled his bag up higher on his shoulder. Hiruma was so going to kill him.

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?!" Hiruma cried, he was looking at his watch. It was 5:35! They were all 35 minutes late. He told them not to come late. Hiruma and Musashi were the only ones standing there in the gym, Hiruma looking like an idiot as he pressed his face up against the glass windows, trying to see in the dark.

"I don't think they're coming, Hiruma" Musashi said, closing his eyes. Hiruma stiffened and then slowly turned his head toward Musashi.

"They'd better come...or I'm gonna kill them all" He said. Right at that point, Kurita, Sena and the ha-ha brothers came running in.

"GOMEN, GOMEN, GOMEN!!" They all said in unison. Hiruma jumped away from the window ready to chew them out.

"YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION!" Hiruma cried, pulling out his machine gun, from nowhere. They all cringed and shrank back, then Kurita stepped in.

"Ok, ok, we came late on purpose because Monta told us to, he thought it would be funny, but..." Kurita stopped talking because Hiruma had started steaming at the ears. Everyone backed away, afraid.

"YOU...FUCKING MONKEY!!!" Hiruma cried, suddenly cocking the machine gun and shooting bullets into the ceiling. Everyone screamed and ducked, and tried to dodge pieces of falling ceiling. Then he stopped and started running for the door.

"Hiruma what are you doing?" Musashi asked, folding his arms. Hiruma slowly turned his head back toward Musashi and grinned evilly, but this wasn't a happy evil grin, this was a "I'M VERY PISSED OFF AT FUCKING MONKEY BOY" grin. Musashi said nothing as Hiruma ran out into the street, almost getting hit by three cars, which he cussed out and shot at.

Everyone watched from the safety of the gym, as Hiruma ran down the street screaming, "YOU FUCKING I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!", and still shooting his gun.

"Does he ever run out of ammo?" Jyumonji asked, blinking. Sena turned to Musashi.

"So what was the 'surprise' anyways?" he asked. Musashi shrugged.

"I guess he had really awesome pro football team come here to train with you guys" he said "The Cowboys I think". Everyone's faces lit up.

"SERIOUSLY?!" They all ran to the football area, excited. Musashi slowly followed them.

Monta yawned as he looked at his clock, it was 5:52. He was 52 minutes late. He shrugged and smiled.

"That oughta show Hiruma-senpai" he said, getting out of bed. Suddenly he sensed he wasn't alone. He froze when he heard the voice.

"Show me what?" Hiruma hissed from the dark corner of Monta's room, he looked up and his sharp teeth glistened menacingly. Monta screamed and started running.

"WHERE YOU GOING I JUST WANT TO SHOOT YOUR BRAINS OUT!" Hiruma cried chasing after him (for the second time) shooting at him.

"Did you guys hear something?" Sena asked, as he caught a football thrown to him by one of the famous Dallas Cowboys (from America) Everyone shrugged and went back to playing.

Sena shook his head. 'Will he ever learn?'

(TBC, so what do ya think shall I continue, and a few things I only put in the Dallas Cowboys because I didn't know of any famous Japanese football team, and I thought it would be cool to put in an American team, so there! hope you enjoyed this chapter let me know how you liked it, see ya!)


	4. run as slow as possible40 yard dash

NUMBER 3: Run as sloooowww as possible on the 40 yard dash

"YA-HA, get your asses to the starting line, it's time for the 40 yard dash" Hiruma cried, over the noise of the practicing. Everyone jogged over to him, out of breath and tired.

"Now?" Monta asked, " but we're so tired" He put his hands on his knees and took in deep breaths. Suddenly Hiruma was on him like flies on shit.

"YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT MONKEY-BOY OR ELSE!" Hiruma cried, Monta didn't need to know the what else part. He cringed back and nodded quickly. Hiruma laughed his evil laugh and turned to the first runner.

"Let's go Kurita" he called, he pulled out his huge bazooka looking gun, and held it on his shouder. Everyone covered there ears.

"READY?" Hiruma called. Kurita got into position...Hiruma covered his own ears.

"GO!" Kurita took off, for being so fat he was actually pretty fast, but...

"6.0!" Hiruma cried, looking at the stop watch, he was pissed. He started kicking Kurita in the rear.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Kurita cried, begging Hiruma to stop. HIruma finally did with a sigh and turned to the next person already down there.

"ok you fuckin' monkey" Hiruma said, a smirk now covering his face.

Monta was smirking too. Sena looked at Monta and shook his head, he was up to something...again! Monta did have a plan.

"READY?" Hiruma called again. gun, covering of the ears, boom.

"GO!"

Monta took off...at a pace of not even .1 miles per hour. Everyone watched as Monta creeped down the 40 yard line, as slow as a snail. They then took the chance of looking at Hiruma and regretted it...

Hiruma was literally steaming from the ears, his face turning purple. He had his eyes closed, the smirk was still on his face, but everyone could tell it was an unhappy smirk. He started to quiver with anger.

The next thing Monta knew, he was being charged at by a blur of red and yellow. Then he heard gunshots.

"YOU FUCKIN' MONKEY, YOU BETTER RUN, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO DO THIS BEFORE YOU GET IT!!" Hiruma cried, running straight for Monta. Monta gave a shriek and turned sprinting the other way. He may have been faster than Hiruma, but when Hiruma was pissed, Hiruma could surpass anyone.

He caught up with Monta and pinned him to the ground. Monta looked up at Hiruma, fear in his eyes as the demon looked down on him, smiling.

"Any last words?" Hiruma said, cracking his knuckles. Monta closed his eyes, ready for it...

"No don't!" someone called. It was Sena. He ran up to them and put a hand on Hiruma's shoulder. Hiruma turned and looked at him, sneering. But he saw the look in Sena's eyes and sighed.

"Fine, you got off this time too Monkey, but it won't happen again" Hiruma said, getting off of Monta. He walked back to the others, and kept going with the dash.

Sena helped Monta up.

"Are you alright?" Sena asked, patting Monta on the back. Monta nodded, he was smiling.

"Yeah, I'm fine" he said, Sena didn't like that smile.

"Have you learned your lesson yet?" Sena asked, fearing the answer.

Monta turned to him and smiled wider.

"Nope, I'm just gettin' started" he said. Sena rolled his eyes. Oh Monta...

(TBC, Monta is going to get murdered! what an idiot, huh? well I hope you liked this chapter, it was kind of short and not as interesting as the others, but it was all I could think of so please read and review, and let me know if i should go on thanks and will update soon)


	5. Dye his hair

NUMBER 4: DYE HIS HAIR (I changed the 4th one because Monta and another guy already run faster than Hiruma does, so yeah enjoy this one though!)

"Monta what are you doing now?" Sena asked, as he watched the other teen mixing some weird gooey liquid in a bowl. Monta just smiled. Sena sighed. It was most likely something to annoy Hiruma with, of course.

"This is going to be great" Monta said, still mixing. Sena held his nose. The stuff stank, whatever it was.

"Monta, you're going to get yourself killed" Sena said, his eyes turning to swirls because of the stench. Monta didn't seem to be bothered by it.

Monta chuckled and looked at Sena.

"Not if he doesn't know who did it" He said. Sena rolled his swirly eyes.

"Monta, you're the one who's done all of that other stuff to him, do you seriously think that he's that stupid?" Sena asked. This made Monta pause for a minute. He tapped his finger on his chin and looked up at the ceiling.

'Ok it doesn't take that much thought' Sena thought. Then Monta finally answered.

"Yes" he said, and went back to mixing. Sena anime fell out of his chair.

"You IDIOT!" Sena cried. Monta smiled and shook his head.

"Don't worry Sena" he said. Sena rolled his eyes again.

"Oh, Monta..."

"Alright, everyone outside now!" Hiruma's voice called from the field. Everyone was there already dressed and ready, as they always were, (because they were afraid of what Hiruma would do to them) Hiruma smiled.

"You know what to do" he said. Everyone, as if on cue, went to seperate ends of the field and started practicing. Sena went over to the ladder and started doing ladder drills. That's when he noticed Monta wasn't there. Sena sighed. He must be putting up his trap.

"Hiruma!" Yep, there he was.

Monta came running up to Hiruma, fast, pointing behind him.

"Hiruma, something's wrong with the TV in the room" Monta said. Sena anime fell again.

'WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!' he thought. Monta seriously thought that was going to work?!

Hiruma blinked once, his hands were on his hips, a frown on his face.

"Fix it" he said. Monta looked surprised, he pouted.

"B-but I don't know how" he said, he said throwing his hands in the air. Hiruma sighed and shook his head.

"Fine" he said, with that he left towards the school to "fix the TV"

Sena walked up to Monta, who was silently snickering.

"You know he knows that you're full of shit" he said, crossing his arms. (shut up I know Sena would never say that, but in here he does!) Monta stopped snickering and looked at Sena, smiling. Then he shrugged and went over to the ladder and started doing his own ladder drills. Sena looked confused.

'Why isn't Monta nervous?' he thought...

Hiruma walked up to the room and hesitated by the door. He slowly looked up and frowned.

"That fucking monkey thinks he's got me" Hiruma said to himself. He shook his head and started looking around. Finally he saw a kid coming toward him.

"Hey!" he called, the kid looked over and cringed seeing who it was. Hiruma cocked his head toward the door. The kid slowly walked toward him and looked up at him.

"Open it" Hiruma demanded. The kid nodded and opened the door. Hiruma stared into the classroom. There was nothing. Hiruma looked at the kid again, and growled.

"What are you looking at, get outta here!" he cried, pulling out one of his guns and shooting it at the ceiling. The kid ran down the hall, screaming and dissapeared around the corner.

Hiruma slowly walked into the room and immediately went up to the TV. He looked at it. Nothing seemed to be wrong. He looked around for any sighns of something worng, then he saw it. The damn thing was unplugged.

"What the hell, that monkey made me come all the way up here because the damn thing was UNPLUGGED?!" he cried, his eyes were blazing with Hell's fire. He swiftly grabbed the wire and shoved it into the outlet. He was about to turn and walk out, when suddenly something wet poured over his head.

Hiruma stood there frozen, not moving. Slowly he looked up at the ceiling. There was a wire hanging up there, his eyes followed the wire to the wire on the TV. When Hiruma had shoved the plug into the outlet he pulled so hard that he ended up tipping the bucket causing the liquid to fall out. Hiruma felt his hair, which was already partly dry (his hair drys fast, I guess).

Hiruma went to the bathroom and shived his head under the sink. He put the water on full blast and hotter than ever! After a few minutes he looked up at himself in the mirror, and his eyes grew wide. He started to shake, anger boiling inside him.

Sena looked at Monta, who was still smiling. What had he done? Suddenly the answer came.

"MONTAAAAAAAAA, YOU FUCKING MONKEYYYYYY!" He heard Hiruma loud and clear from in the school. He heard the guns blazing too. He heard Monta laughing, and looked over to see him rolling on the ground.

"What did you do?" Sena asked, but he didn't need an anzwer from Monta. Suddenly Hiruma appeared beside him. Sena's eyes were wide as saucers.

"Hiruma your hair's...GREEN!" Sena cried, pointing at it. Everyone looked back at them and gasped. Hiruma looked pissed, as he looked down at Monta.

"You have gone too far, you damn monkey" Hiruma said. Monta stopped laughing and looked up at his senpai. He saw he was pissed and got up...making a run for it.

"GET BACK HERE!" Hiruma called, once again...running after the monkey boy.

This time they ran into the trees and everyone could tell that Hiruma had caught Monta, finally.

"GOMEN!" Monta cried, but obviously his pleas were ignored, because there was alot of loud and scary noises coming from the trees after that, and some occasional cries of pain. Finally after about a few seconds Hiruma stepped out, one of his guns on his shoulder. He was smiling.

"H-Hiruma, you didn't..." Sena asked. Hiruma looked down at the younger boy and just smiled wider, but then he looked up at his hair and frowned, growling. He headed off to the locker rooms.

"Fuck practice for today, you can all go home" he said. Everyone watched as their quarterback sulked away. Monta suddenly came out of the trees, battered and bruised.

"Monta, are you alright?" Sena asked, worried, trying to keep Monta steady. Monta surprisingly laughed. Sena sighed.

"Of course you are" he said. Monta nodded.

"It was worth the pain" Monta said, wincing.

"So what else are you planning to do before you die?" Sena asked. Monta looked up at Sena, an evil gleam in his eye.

Sena sighed and shook his head.

(So you like it?! I hope so, cause if you do I'll keep updating! I thought this was a funny chapter myself, I enjoyed wtiting it...well see ya and please review!)


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